Jodi's story

January 07 Hi all, A little about me.....I have been heavy my whole life except for a short stint in the 90s. I weighed myself in and realized I weigh more then any female contestant on "the biggest loser" and was devastated. I am starting at 328.6. My personal highest. I am a Potter and work from home. I have joined the million pound match up for hope. Hope from all the partners that are also trying. I love my husband madly, and we are beginning to have the life we dreamed of having together. I have a German Shepherd I adore, and 3 grown boys. When did that happen? About the weight............ In the 200s I always missed being a woman. I don't feel feminine. I stopped wearing make-up, feminine cloths, heels, doing my hair, flirting with my husband, etc. etc. Always thinking "tomorrow" I'll do something. Let me be honest...it is hard to feel feminine when I can't clean myself properly after using the bathroom. Now in the 300s I realize I miss being a person. I have ceased to exist as a functioning woman or person. It is difficult to even walk around the house, never the less clean, ( I love a super clean house) or take part in the outside world. I had to use a chair to decorate the tree. I have become afraid that this is who I will be forever. I am not Agoraphobic. I do go out, yet I isolate quite a bit. I have a very outgoing personality and miss people places and doing things. It always comes down to 2 things shame or physical inability. With this challenge I am hoping anew! There is a chance, I have a chance! 1 week at a time. I will take it like they do on the show....looking to do all I can in this 1 week to accomplish as much as I can towards being healthy. I long for the time I will be running instead of wobbling! This is the second day, and I feel great. Great: to be completely tired, out of breath for at least an hour, muscles sore, and writing things I'd rather keep to myself! WOOOOO HOOOO I am present and accounted for!!